the hardest times of my life

happened not too long ago.


it all began with a rose-colored boy.

they told me not to get close,

but ignorance had stripped me off my senses.

i dismissed the warnings, those sirens.


i assured myself i was happy,

until he threw me into the fire

and i had to pull myself out.

as he begged for my forgiveness,

i feigned a smile, turning on my fake happiness mode.

but it wasn’t the last time i was thrown into the fire.


twenty six days had passed

since the first time we met.

floating in the pool of misery,

i tried not to let my own grudges consume me.


when i saw him again,

he was caught in the middle of a fight

which left him on his own,

no friend to talk and spend time with.

slowly, he turned at me

and began his quest for idle worship.


this time, i couldn’t keep my grudges at bay.

i threw him into the fire we had started,

walked away, and never looked back.


nobody should tell me how to feel about him,

not now, not ever.


(in honor of paramore’s new release)