words. feelings. random stuff.
when you say you love me,
i hope that includes
loving my dark side as well
love me when i show up
with bags under my eyes
and reds between the whites
love me when you call me
and hear the cracks in my voice
as i assure you, “i’m fine.”
love me when i lose myself
and love me when i get her back
love me in my best days
and in my darkest nights
love me when i want to live forever
and love me when i don’t
when you say you love me,
i hope you mean it this time.
she was alive
and she had her own world
but they dragged her around
like a doll for display
she had no time
for small talk and games
but they took her anyway
who cares what she wants?
she begged for her life
but her pledges were denied
she wanted to escape
but her wings were clipped
and in the worst nights
she closed her eyes and prayed
she would go anywhere but here
all she wanted was a release.
tik, tok
tik, tok
ini bukan bunyi hujan, nak.
tik, tok
tik, tok
jam dindingmu berdetak.
tik, tok
tik, tok
stop menyampah di grup line.
tik, tok
tik, tok
tiga jam lagi deadline.
tik, tok
tik, tok
sampai mana tugasmu?
tik, tok
tik, tok
ya ampun, baru segitu?
tik, tok
tik, tok
memang susah diubah
tik, tok
tik, tok
kalau sudah biasa.
have you sunken so low
that you would try to tear me down
when i’m in my absolute best?
don’t hate me for finding bliss
in cotton candy clouds
and in scripted movie scenes
look around you
and don’t you dare convince me
there’s nothing wrong with the world
’cause everything’s fucked up,
we’re getting closer to the end,
and my news feed is worse than ever
i can’t save the world
except in dreams and stories
so let me find happiness
even in the silliest things
’cause it’s better than
living in madness.
they give her gold.
they also give her shelter
from the unforgiving weather
and the winds of midsummer.
they let her rest in their greatest chamber.
as the storm rages, they force her to swallow poison and wine.
once the storm ends, the windows are open wide to let the sunlight inside.
they shower her with gold – again – and savory, sugar-laced kisses.
little do they know,
she loves stormy days.
night time is her time;
and she wants freedom just as much as they want her to be safe.
little do they know,
some birds don’t like being caged.
even in gold.
(inspired by a court of thorns and roses series)
i hope you don’t mind
a little bit of chaos
here and there
i just unleashed another storm
to demolish the bridges
you’ve burned so many times
but never turned into ashes
perhaps in another universe,
there’s someone that
you’ve always wanted me to be.
someone you could love
and you could use.
someone who gives into you willingly
and marches alongside you
as the two of you
begin your descent to oblivion.
i lost myself
to the spiral of silence,
forced to stitch my mouth up
and kept my thoughts to myself
for the sake of my sanity
’cause i wanted to fight no more
after i gained my independence
is it just me
or the state of our world
is getting worse day by day?
i’m still trying hard
to remain hopeful
but it gets harder everyday
and in the end,
i suppose i can’t fix everything
that is wrong with this world,
this reality,
this hell we’re living in.
hansel and gretel found a house of sweets.
meanwhile, i found a house of chocolate. the house was moderately sized, and looks as if it belonged to another time when my granny was a little girl. it was secluded from the rest of the neighborhood, distinguished by the walls of pine trees. i found it when i was playing hide and seek with my class mates after school ends that afternoon. a faint whisper commanded me to walk into the woods. somehow i didn’t resist; instead i followed its lead, which then brought me into this strange house.
this would make sense if i had lived in the northern hemisphere, because let’s be honest, it’s not quite realistic to have a house of chocolate in a country with tropical climate. the house could survive the night. however, 2 hours after contact with sunlight and it will be gone.
perhaps i read too much for a little girl. wait, i’m not so little anymore; i’m ten. i’m old enough to be a hogwarts student.
but in a world where you can catch pocket monsters in your devices, talk with boys who live in a world of binary codes, and found your love in unexpected places; anything should be possible.
not everyone had a happy childhood, and that’s okay.
when you were a kid, people often asked, “what do you want to do when you grow up?”
and you would answer with a dazzling smile plastered on your face, your soul as green as a maize field in the summer.
you have no idea what’s in store.
you only knew what kind of job you could possibly acquire in the future from your parents, friend, or what you saw in the media.
as you grow up, you realised…
nobody said the future was meant to be easy.
storms come and go
and hearts break and heal
but you have to
stay strong.
don’t lecture me about love
when all you’ve been doing
is spreading lies and hatred
in your precious virtual sphere.
don’t ask for my compassion
when you’d rather hope for someone’s downfall
than try to make the world a better place.
don’t expect me to internalize
every single word you’ve told me
when most of the time,
they’re sweets laced with cyanide.
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