s y n t h e s i s

words. feelings. random stuff.

Category: poetry (page 1 of 2)

closure

the worst is over now,
for we have left the past behind;
the future belongs to us
and fate is on our side.

if you want to stay,
i would be more than grateful to have you beside me,
now that we have all the time
in our bizarre little cube
to do whatever as you wish.
i’m relieved that all those years when i held onto my hope
that someday, you’re going to walk into the light once more
are definitely worth it in the end.

if your desire is to leave me,
live your own life,
and see the world beyond ours;
i won’t hold you back,
i’ve learned it the hard way that i couldn’t force everyone to stand by me for eternity.
however,
know that my doors are always open for you
when you decide to come home.

fictional characters

every night,

within a few days,

i disappear into your world

and join you in your many quests

i want to embrace you

through the finite pages

of the book in my hands

 

you gave me a reason to live again

but you’re not even alive

you’re real,

but unreal at the same time

and it kills me that my idea of you

sometimes clashes with reality

for if you were a person

who exists alongside me

the real you will not be without flaws.

dark room

some people believe
the pen is mightier than the sword
but if words have that much power
then how did your silence
cause me so much pain?

this dark room you’ve locked me in
this static buzzing in my ears,
they’re eating me alive
rapidly
agonizingly.
if i were a negative,
waiting for development
so i could display an image
instead of conjuring it in my head,
i might have been killed by insanity.

so please answer me
say a word or two,
the first verse of your favourite song
or your favourite poem,
because i need to know you’re still there
i need you to be alive.

drown #2

in the – hopefully – not foreseeable future,

you will sink into the ocean,

joining countless undiscovered creatures

and our ancestors

in the bed of the continent

 

somewhere in another point of my life,

i would have mourned for you

but now that i’ve sunken,

i am glad that at least i won’t be completely alone,

for i will sink into the deep with you.

time

somebody once told me

our greatest enemy is time

those words had haunted me for ages

but now i understand them,

all too well  

 

time kills us

in the form of age and decay

time chases us

in the form of deadlines

time maddens us

in the form of boredom  

 

however, i also realized

that time can heal us

if we give it a chance

if we don’t let the demons win

and if we let them change us

for the greater good.  

 

i will be better.

i will be better.

i will be better.

drown #1

for years i had been drowning

but nobody tried to pull me out

as i sunk deeper and deeper

into nothingness.

 

i couldn’t close my eyes,

my eyelids were heavier than steel

and numb, as if frostbitten

the burden on my shoulder

weighing me down as i fell,

the words i left unsaid

still lingered at the tip of my tongue,

kicking and forcing their way out of my mouth,

but never heard

for the water had canceled them,

turned them into meaningless noise,

another addition to the sea of entropy.

 

the thoughts i couldn’t share

remained inside my head,

forever haunting me,

never released,

never free.

may the fourth be with me

thought that i was alone here

shielded with emerald leaves

guarded by the arms of pine trees

i was free, i was unbound

serenity rushed through my veins

 

then your shadow appeared

in the corner of my eyes

creeping from behind those arms

and beneath my bare feet

 

then i found myself running

running,

running through the woods

that once was my source of calamity

now transformed into anxiety

 

i was running

when something gripped my feet

black mass, lacerating my skin

in a split second, it stopped me

and i saw nothing.

mystery

the clock is ticking
telling me it’s almost midnight
four hours have passed
since your last call
i glance at the window
and all i see was snow
no cars, no one outside
no sounds but the clock
and my own breath

my phone vibrates in my hand
but it’s not from your message
i let it go, but the trembling doesn’t stop
i’m inside but i feel so cold

as i turn the lights out,
there’s a knock on our door
and another
and another
rapidly

i turn it back on
and rush into the front door
i look at the window
thank god, it was you
but before i had the chance
to open the door
you rush in, no greetings
something falls out of your grip
into the floor
a bronze key, the same as mine
covered in white
but stained with red.

rhetoric

when you say you love me,
i hope that includes
loving my dark side as well

love me when i show up
with bags under my eyes
and reds between the whites

love me when you call me
and hear the cracks in my voice
as i assure you, “i’m fine.”

love me when i lose myself
and love me when i get her back

love me in my best days
and in my darkest nights

love me when i want to live forever
and love me when i don’t

when you say you love me,
i hope you mean it this time.

anywhere but here

she was alive
and she had her own world
but they dragged her around
like a doll for display
she had no time
for small talk and games
but they took her anyway
who cares what she wants?

she begged for her life
but her pledges were denied
she wanted to escape
but her wings were clipped
and in the worst nights
she closed her eyes and prayed
she would go anywhere but here
all she wanted was a release.

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